in new haven, i have one 6’ x 3’ space that’s mine - my bed. there are eight of us living in close quarters, all of us in very small rooms with roommates. the only space that’s mine is my bed.
i am very close with some of my housemates. i love them. but when they bounce into our room (and my roommate does this, too) and immediately dive onto my bed to talk to me, demand my attention, pick my brain, it makes me feel completely invaded upon and withdrawn. it makes it impossible for me to focus on anything that’s being said.
i need to have a conversation about boundaries, but i don’t know how to do this, as there are such glaring cultural differences. i’m bad at being firm and not sounding angry (and i am a little angry, fairly or unfairly - i’ve tried to mention how important it is to me that people not come into my room, invade my space, and demand my attention). i understand that it’s not a bad thing that they want to spend time with me, that they’re excited to talk with me, but MY GOD LEAVE ME ALONE.
but it is my responsibility to bring this forward, it’s what living in intentional community means.
