createanewworld asked: D, M, N :)
so sorry, i missed this some how. i shall now answer it!
D - have you ever changed for someone? if yes, how? - oh definitely. i mean, who hasn’t, particularly when we’re young(er) and stupid(er)? i can’t say with certainty that i’ve modified myself in any permanent fashion for someone else - this would insinuate that i have a definite “self,” a concept i’m not so sure i buy. but i have stretched myself in new and uncomfortable ways for people, both positively and negatively. on the negative side, i tried to be in a poly relationship when i just wasn’t in the place, i modified the labels i used for my gender because they made a partner uncomfortable, and i’ve definitely just plain kept my mouth shut when things were said that i found major fault with and then later regretted it.
positively, though, i am constantly changing for other people. forgiveness, for instance, is not a one-time event, but rather an every day commitment to be bigger than you sometimes think you can be, to be more loving and engaged than you know how. there are people in my life who have hurt me deeply (and i them, to be sure), and every day i try to change into the sort of person who loves and forgives. sometimes i fail.
M - what’s one thing you regret saying or not saying, doing or not doing, in a previous relationship? - i should have broken up with my then-partner when i entered college. it was asinine to try and stay together through a 1300 miles move, at 18.
N - what age do you think is appropriate for kids to start having sex? - i don’t think i can put a concrete number on this, at it would vary from person to person. for sex there should be some ability to recognize and plan for consequences, a sense of self, and the ability to consent (and recognize the consent/non-consent of another).
